


And Time Again

by abbybear



Series: Tony Talks To Himself [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anger, Bittersweet, Do-Over, Domestic Violence, Failed Time Travel, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Married Couple, Poor Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Injury - PTSI, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Slash, Sort Of, Steve Rogers Feels, Suicide Attempt, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony and Steve are happy, multiple Steves, multiple Tonys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 12:04:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14933927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbybear/pseuds/abbybear
Summary: They finally get things right.  After many trials and errors, Steve and Tony fix their timeline and can go home.  Memories from various failed attempts seem to splinter their success.---“I can't get these thoughts out of my head.  If we hadn't stopped Siberia, then--”“But we did stop it!  Babe, whatever you’re remembering, it never happened.”“So, what?  Since it never happened here, I'm supposed to forgot how by me leaving, you ruined yourself in grief until you took a gun to your head?”“Yes!  Just the way I'm forgetting all those times you took out your anger on me!  Then justified it!”





	And Time Again

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Domestic abuse. Suicide attempt (event? Did and didn't happen, so...). Lots and lots of shit for all those timelines where nothing goes right. Neither of these are laughing matters. 
> 
> Part four out of four. Makes more sense if you read the first three stories. Can be read as a one-shot.
> 
> Unbeta-ed. Let me know if you see any issues. I'll review later this week.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own.

Everything works out properly on the seventeenth attempt.  The elderly Strange says that the first sixteen trials are all glitches just before he twists his wrists and send them back to try again.  A couple of failures end sooner than others. Thankfully, the sorcerer is able to pull them out of any corrupted timelines before one of them disappears for good.  

The final instance is the only one where Tony and Steve appear in the past together. They rush to the main laboratory to meet up with the pair of supersoldiers and Iron Man prattling with the sheltered Zemo.

“I'm here because I made a promise.”

“So did we.”

The trio of heroes turn to face them. Zemo scowls into the microphone and slams his fist down, turning on the monitor next to Stark. Tony lifts his wrist as his nanobots build a glove, blasting the computer to pieces.

“Come out of there, Zemo. Otherwise I'll pull you out.”  Tony glances at Stark as he passes, recognizing the confusion in his gaze and slipping him a sad smile.

“It's for the best. We'll let Rogers fill you in on that particular set of skeletons hidden in his closet.”  He throws Captain America a dark glare before he advances to the steel wall protecting the Sokovian.

“There's no chance you can penetrate the bunker’s defense without killing me.”

Tony twists the arc reactor embedded in his jacket and builds a long vibranium blade on the front of his gauntlet. He stabs the thick metal between them and cuts a rough circle out of the barrier, making Zemo freeze with his mouth gaping.  Steve stalks over and yanks the small man down to the floor, stepping on his wrist until he hears a decisive pop and a mangled scream.

“Maybe you shouldn't--” Steve looks over to Rogers, beard long and gnarly and blue eyes dull and done.

“Maybe was a long time ago. Now, you need to get your shit together. Tell him the truth. And sign those damn Accords.”

Stark sniggers, earning him a twinset of glowers from the time travelers.

“Hey, jackass.  Pot, kettle. Actually take those anti-anxiety pills you've been dropping down the toilet the last three weeks.  And fix those damn documents so Ross can't con you into making missiles again. Also, free your fucking team. Go over Ross’s head. Work with T’Challa. And try to _not_ flip your shit when Cap chats you up. Double your dosage before that exchange.”

Tony steps closer to Stark and leans forward, voice down to a whisper as his eyes fall to the floor.

“And try not to kill anyone.  For both our sakes.”

“Buck? The king can help with the brainwashing.  He's waiting outside. Just bring him this trash after I--oh, here we go.” Steve puts a bandana out of his back pocket ties the cloth tightly around Zemo’s leaking lips before pulling him up by his broken wrist and tossing him over to Barnes.  His friend nods before he hauls his prisoner up and heads to the exit, ready to escape his doubled allies.

“Okay, seriously, I hate magic.  Are you two here just to do our job and shame us?  And this scruffy looking nerf herder bit you got going is great, but it’s definitely no Captain America pinup.” Stark gives Steve a wary look before he reaches for Tony's arc reactor with wonder.

“And nanotech?  Fuck yes. I've been dreaming of building something like this. Can I?”

“Chill. Here--take this and make some prototypes. Your ass needs to get in gear if we're going to win the war.”  Tony pops the reactor out of his chest and hands it to the mechanic before pulling out his backup bit from the depths of his jeans and snapping the smaller unit into position.

“War?” Rogers tries to approach the two geniuses, but Steve steps between him and Tony with a different dark look in his eyes. Rogers scoffs, looking past his future self and over at Tony, disgust written on his face.

“And what's with you?  You let Tony Stark dictate our decisions?  The Accords will limit our ability to save lives.”

“Yes, but at least half of the universe will still be alive. Amendments can be added.”

“Woah woah, wait. Half of the universe?  Is this?” Stark’s breath hikes with Tony's slow nod.  He looks over at Rogers with a wide expression, taking a step forward before he stumbles. Steve catches him around the waist and keeps him up.

“Thanos will come to Earth in twenty-five months searching for two of the infinity stones. One is lodged into Vision’s forehead. The other is managed by a bunch of wizards.  One of the two must be destroyed. The Time Stone would be the better choice, but good luck convincing Strange to do such a thing.” Tony walks past Steve and Stark, stance tall as he faces Rogers.

“If he gets his hands on all six infinity stones, fifty percent of the population of every planet in this galaxy will be randomly selected and wiped from existence.” Tony stops himself from reaching for Rogers's familiar fingers to help his own from trembling. He watches as Cap steadies his forearm, grip tense and hesitant before he drops his hand down to Tony's and squeezes.

“We can stop that from happening with this warning, right?”

“Hopefully.  But we need to stay together if we're to accomplish that.  Please. Tell him the truth. We need to hear it from you.” Rogers keeps his grip as he glances over to the nearly hyperventilating genius falling against his future self.  Steve seems practiced as he drops down to eye level with Stark, speaking to him in soft words as he helps the man take deep breaths in sync with his own.

“What would have happened?  If you hadn't come?”

Tony attempts to smile, but the devastation of the last sixteen trials makes his happy expression waver. He tilts his head downwards, teeth clenched and eyes heating.

“Nothing good.  Zemo showed us the footage of the Winter Soldier from that night. Finding out that you knew made me lose it.  You left and don't come back until it's too late.”

Tony remembers the beginning of the third glitch.  He arrived the moment Steve had slammed his shield into his chest and managed to break his reactor. Watching the scene sent him into a panic attack, surprising Steve of that time off of his broken suit and over to his broken future, anger still driving him.  He had made a run for it, but that Steve had caught up to him and was confident Tony was another threat until Barnes reached him.

Rogers releases his hand.  Tony starts to back away when he is pulled forward and pressed against the supersoldier's strong chest.

“I'm sorry. I'll tell him.”

Tony tries his best to not cry, but he eventually gives in.

 

***

 

When they return to the present, they are still in Siberia. The sorcerer before them looks almost happy as he drops his arm.

“About damn time.  Now, leave. I must escape this timeline to not further contaminate it.  Speak with my counterpart on the eventual side effects you may encounter.”

Strange builds a portal and pushes through the flaming magic circle, leaving the pair alone.  Steve is still holding Tony's hand, fingers hard and cold against the back of his palm.

“Do you remember every attempt?”  Steve’s words seem hopeful despite the whine in his tone.

“Not entirely.  But I can recall pieces.  I have a feeling I'll remember more as time passes.  Do you?”

“No.  I only remember before and now.  Apparently we're married?” Steve raises his free hand to show Tony the gold and crimson band. Tony looks down at their joined fingers and notices a similar band with a bit of blue built in and platinum replacing the gold.

“Seriously? I have a Captain America wedding ring. And where's my diamond? You better have not proposed without a ring.”

“And you call _me_ old fashioned.”

They both laugh before they turn and leave, fingers still tied together.

 

***

 

When he first sees Peter again, Tony drops the drink he’s holding.  He gets a face full of the kid's hair as Peter rushes forward and grabs the glass before it lands on his barefoot.

“Mr. Stark!  Are you okay?”  Tony lets himself be lead to the couch and sat down, stressing teen attached at his hip.

“Pete. You're actually here?”

“Yes?  Captain Rogers, is there something wrong with Mr. Stark?”

Steve looks up from the stove.

“He's fine. Probably just another bout from another timeline.”

_“Breathe, Mr. Stark. God, what did he do to you?”_

_He tried to stand, but his busted knee won't support his weight. Peter helped him maneuver over to the wall, but every movement sent fire through Tony's body.  Even his tears stung as they made their way down his blackening cheek and split lip._

_“I-I’m fine, Pete. I just need to…”_

_The fingers on his ribs made him moan.  He did not even consider feigning a smile.  The upset on the kid's face seemed to make his bruises hurt more._

_When the door to the apartment opened, Peter went into a frenzy as he tried to block the supersoldier's path. Steve walked through his empty form and squatted before the broken genius._

_“You know, if you weren't a hallucination, I would hate myself.  Why haven't you snapped back to your normal self? Trying to make me feel guilty?  I told you to put on the suit. Would've made for a better beating.”_

Tony swallows.

“It's good to see you, Parker. Just give me a minute.”

When they sit down for lunch, Tony is unable to meet his husband's eyes.

 

***

 

_“I told you to leave, Rogers.”_

_“Please, Tony.  Don't do this. Pick up the phone and call someone and get help. Put down the gun.”_

_Steve moved forward.  He stopped when Tony raised the firearm to the side of his head, eyes wide and desperate._

_“Leave. You're not even here!  You haven't been here for months, so just leave me alone!”_

_“Okay. I'll leave as soon as you put the gun down.”_

_Tony lowered the weapon, eyes going empty as he stared past Steve._

_“Happy?  Now leave me the hell alone.”_

_The blonde backed away slowly, eyeing the pistol.  After another look at the man's vacant expression, Steve turned to leave the workshop._

_The gunshot behind him was deafening._

“Steve?  Babe, what's wrong?  You look like your favorite dog just died.”

Steve soaks up the warmth in Tony's brown eyes to calm his frazzled nerves.  He gets up from their bed and starts to change, shot still ringing in his ears.

“Going to go beat on a couple or bags. Hopefully that'll help with the tension.”

Steve does not miss the way Tony shudders before he lies back down and turns away from him.

“Hopefully.”

Steve considers canceling, but the memory of that hollow gaze gets him out the door.

 

***

 

_“You can't beat him, Steve. Fall back and regroup with the others.”_

_“If we don't stop him now, it will all be over. I have to face him.”_

_Steve took Tony's hands in his own._

_“I'm sorry I won't get to see you again. For real.”_

_Tony leaned forward and kissed the blonde, face wet with sweat and tears._

_“You’re going to die.”_

_“And I'll do my best to take Thanos down with me.”_

_“Please, just wait--”_

_Tony doesn't finish his sentence. The supersoldier left, crossing the Wakandan forest until he faced the purple demon with the golden fist.  Tony looked at Peter next to him after Steve was gone, but he couldn't hear the kid’s words. When sound returned to him and he heard Peter begging him to stop Steve, he ran._

_Tony got there in time to see a sword slide through Steve's neck._

“Boss, your heart rate is increasing.  I'll inform Captain Rogers that you will return to base--”

“Shut it.”

“We could really use an assist, Shellhead. Your hubby and Buck may need a lift out of this mess.” Natasha’s voice crackles over the comms just as a shrill screech fills his ears.

“Robo-wolves can fly. Repeat, why the hell do they have to fly!”

“Spiderman, swing low. If you can get them together then I can blast them.”

Sam dives down and fires at a cluster of metal canines soaring after Peter.

“Viz tore them apart over here. Only ones left are in the center with Captain.  How're you and Buck holding up?”

“Could use a ha--...--finitely have mor--...--drop off may be requ--”

Tony jets to the center of town when he hears Steve's chopped words.  The supersoldier is surrounded with Barnes at his back, the animated wolves attacking from nearly every direction.  The extra red on his uniform freezes the air in Tony's lungs as he steers toward them.

Minutes later, surrounded by iron limbs and pieces, Steve is ripping the faceplate off of Tony’s suit and gripping his shoulders.

“Friday!  Give me a status. Tony, honey, deep breaths. Sit and focus on me.”

“His heart rate is elevated, Captain. 170 and rising.”

Tony notices blood on Steve's neck.  He leans forward into Steve's hold and screams.

 

***

 

“We need to talk about this.  These false memories are going to be there death of us if we fixate on them.” Steve throws the pan of burnt toast and runny eggs into the sink.  He hits the counter, glaring as his knuckles crack the smooth surface while missing his husband's heavy tremor.

“I can't get these thoughts out of my head.  If we hadn't stopped Siberia, then--”

“But we did stop it!  Babe, whatever you’re remembering, it never happened.”

“So, what?  Since it never happened here, I'm supposed to forgot how by me leaving, you ruined yourself in grief until you put a gun to your head?”

“Yes!  Just the way I'm forgetting all those times you took out your anger on me!  Then justified it!”

Steve turns and looks at his husband. Tony has his arms locked by his sides to stop his body from shaking.

“We cannot live in that past.  If we do, we have no future here.”

They stand in the kitchen together in silence, staring past each other and seeing other people from other lives. Steve eventually makes his way over to Tony, taking the smaller man in his arms.  His chest clenches when he feels the initial resistance to his hold.

“We fixed the timeline. We have to remember all the good we did.  All the lives we saved.”

“I know.”

“We're going to be okay. None of that happened. We're married; we're happy.”

Even as he says those words, Tony can hear his voice break, body betraying him by flinching when Steve moves his arms up his back.

“I know.”

They stay like that until Sam walks in, sweating in his running gear.  He looks over to the pan of bread and eggs in the sink before making his way to the fridge.

“You two sit. I'll take care of this.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry. I did write more, but I cut it out. Maybe in the future I'll post more of those failed attempts I wrote out.
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed the bittersweet yay we did it but fuck we're ruined? Please drop a kudo or a comment if you enjoyed. Thanks for reading.


End file.
